Chary

CHARY (adj.) - discreetly cautious: as
a: hesitant and vigilant about dangers and risks
b: slow to grant, accept, or expend <e.g. "a person very chary of compliments">
(pronounced like "cherry"... now go use it!)

Oh, how I love Saturdays! Time for all the things I'm too tired to do when I have work the next day: blogging, bodhrán practice, feats of culinary excellence...

...and dating. If I'm done with gym and chores (or not) Saturdays are also for adventures of a romantic nature. Sometimes dating feels like going adventuring, sometimes it feels like making war. Lately, dating has actually been enjoyable because I started officially seeing one person in particular about two months ago. I can't think of a witty alias for him at the moment, but I'm sure to mention him again.

The other day, one of my favorite blogs, Seraphic Singles, suggested "If you really love a woman, ask her to marry you within a year." and this stopped me cold. A year? It seems so... short. It seems like such a finite period of time to discern if someone is the One. The one I spend the rest of my life with, have children with, grow old with. I don't know that I could come to such a decision within a year. I'd be surprised if any of my ex's had.

And, in some ways, I'm glad for that. If my first big ex had proposed after a year, I would have said "yes" and we would be miserable and divorced by now. If my second big ex had proposed after a year, I would have said "yes" and we'd be miserable by now. First big ex and I dated (off and on) for six years, second big ex for just over two years.

Mom would say this is because my "picker's broken". I would say that my being chary makes it difficult to know someone well enough for that kind of decision. And if the person I'm dating is also chary... it takes a while. At this point, I wouldn't trust myself or another to make that decision after just one year. Maybe that's because I haven't spent a year with the right person? Or maybe I shouldn't be worrying about this only two (official) months in!?